34 lb Turkey stupidity

What to do when Kat says “I don’t feel like going to Salt Spring Island, BC for Thanksgiving, let’s stay home”?

First – you loose the money on your non-chain hotel. Not a big deal.

Second – you go shopping for Thanksgiving dinner on the morning of Thanksgiving.

Third – you find out that your only turkey options (non-frozen) are 34+lb turkeys.

Seems we’re developing a tradition of doing silly things for Thanksgiving (see Turkey: A vehicle for bacon).

There aren’t even instructions for cooking a bird this big. Even the “we don’t recommend it but if you have a very large bird (22-24 lbs)…” sections of recipes don’t cover it. No worries… cooking turkey is ridiculously easy – which is fitting for such a horrendously boring food. In general… what’s up with Thanksgiving – it’s like the white trash food night of holidays. Why can’t we have a tradition that includes Filet Mignon, Beef Brisket or Pizza? Geeesh…

I put this pig of a bird (no disrespect to pigs) in a roasting pan, sealed it with tin foil, creating a mini-steam oven, and cooked it 6 hours at 400, at which point we heard strange noises from the oven (temp was now 138). Removing the thing was really hard – as in dangerous. The bird had given off 2 quarts of liquid (i.e. fat) and the roasting pan was over flowing. Drained that, removed the foil, back in for 2 more hours. It gave off another quart of fat… yuck.

Anyway – it turned out as good as turkeys turn out… which is to say, pretty boring.

34 lb Turkey with a Kat Blueberry Pie.

Kat secretly wants to be a butcher

More exciting turkey shots